OLD HABITS

Old habits die hard, I suppose...because I am absolutely TERRIBLE at this whole blogging thing. I promise you, I have good intentions. But when it comes down to it, I am that girl who forgets to take pictures during vacations and write down my thoughts when I'm thinking about them. Every once in a while I get inspired by something and decide to write, usually when I read someone else's blog. Have I mentioned that I'm going to school for journalism? Yeahhhh, fail on my part.

Anywaaaays.. The thing that inspired me to write tonight is the fact that my 21st birthday is in a few days. Obviously the first thing that comes to mind is "party party party", and yes I am unashamed to admit that I am looking forward to that aspect. I do enjoy wine, beer, the occasional vodka, and the 2 for 1 margaritas at the Mexican place by us (that has become a weekly tradition with my future sister and mother-in-law). But mostly I think about this past year and how much has changed. This year has been one of the most exciting and scary years of my life. Between working towards my degree, traveling to see Jake, welcoming my niece into the world, getting engaged, and moving far away from the place I had built my life around....it was a pretty eventful year. I have lived in the Memphis area for about 4 months now and it has been quite the adventure.

When people asked me what I do on a daily basis, it's hard for me to answer. Right now I am not working and I have taken the semester off- which I have mixed feelings about. But with moving and adjusting and the ridiculously high out-of-state tuition, taking the semester off seemed to be the best choice. Sorry, I feel like I'm rambling...so back to what I was talking about. What do I do? Well, Jake and I have a 3 bedroom house. His sister lives with us temporarily, because she works full time and is trying to get her RN degree. Jake and I have 2 adopted dogs, Winston and Lucy, and an adopted cat named Simon. Apparently we are suckers for homeless animals, but I'm okay with that. His sister, Andrea, has a golden retriever who lives with us as well. So yes, my house is a small farm. They are a lot of work, but I love them so much that I cant be mad about it. We just take it day by day around here, and hope that Lucy doesn't find a stray shoe laying around.

Before moving, the idea of having my own house to decorate and do what I wish in was an amazing idea. And trust me, it has been fun. But having a house is a lot of work. I must admit, I've never had much of a knack for cleaning (maybe this stems from having 2 clean freaks for parents who constantly hammered the idea of having a pristine house into my head...I blame them for ruining the idea of cleaning for me) but somehow I manage to keep up with this house. Our floors are constantly dirty from having a muddy backyard and 3 big dogs, and at first I was cleaning the floors everyday. Now I usually do it once a week, unless its super bad. I also do Jake's and my laundry. I am also trying to slowly coax myself into the kitchen. I am not a cook. Jake is good at cooking, and a lot of times he will whip something up...but I have been trying to experiment and find easy recipes for cooking-challenged people like me (thank you, Pinterest!). I also try to keep myself busy, and somehow I have succeeded! I like to go out and about and explore the giant and confusing area of Memphis, and spend time with my hardworking fiance who is gone a lot. I am also spending a lot of time with my new family, who have been lifesavers during this whole process. So when I think of my days, the blur together in a whirlwind of dog hair, dirty dishes, loads of laundry, random errands, making this house a home, and remembering to stop and enjoy the small moments with my husband-to-be. Sometimes I am ashamed that while he is out working long hours at a very stressful and demanding job, my life is pretty easy at the moment. At times, I feel like I am in a rut. But I know I will get there, I will find a job that is fitting for me and I will get back to school this fall. "Everything will be alright" is what Jake is always telling me, which while frustrating at times, is also comforting.

 I'm probably boring you to tears right now, but it feels good to get my thoughts out.

I've been doing this thing lately where I make lists, even if its just in my head, of what makes me happy that day or what I am looking forward to.
This is todays list:

Going for a walk with my dogs on this beautiful day
Seeing flowers at Walmart today, and thinking about the gardening I will be doing soon
The fact that I get to see my family and friends in 5 days!!!!!
Finding a part time J.O.B.
Thinking about the family Jake and I will start eventually (I am guilty of having frequent cases of baby fever)
Spending tomorrow with my handsome man, because he has the day off

Make a list, it makes you appreciate what you have and what you have to look forward to. I think we all need to stop and realize that every now and again. And although there has been a lot of big changes this past year for just one 20 year old, I am thankful for every second of it.